


Love, Save the Empty

by cordeliadelayne



Category: Harper's Island
Genre: M/M, Pre-Slash, sully introspection
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-08-13
Updated: 2015-08-13
Packaged: 2018-04-14 09:50:27
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,056
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4560069
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cordeliadelayne/pseuds/cordeliadelayne
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sully is forced to confront his feelings for Cal. Set around 110 – Snap. Originally posted to Livejournal in 2009.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Love, Save the Empty

It’s all a lie, of course. The same lie he’s been living with all his life. He’s just been going through the motions. Putting on an act.

He used to think it strange that his friends, especially Henry, could not see through his endless one night stands, his exaggerated confidence, his pantomime jealousy. But perhaps they just didn’t know him as well as he knew them. Perhaps he didn’t let them.

When this living hell was over he was going to make some changes to his life. Be honest with his friends the same way he was honest with himself. He had many faults, but lying to himself wasn’t one of them. Just lying to everybody who ever mattered to him.

He doesn’t know why he’s thinking about all this now. Except it’s dark and he’s tired and hungry and this strange little Englishman is lying unconscious on the bed before him and he can’t wash the blood off his hands.

God, he thought his own life was ending when he saw that Cal had been shot. Had prayed that he’d be all right. The first prayers he’d said in years that didn’t revolve around a football game. And now his life was literally in Sully’s hands.

Sully hurried over to the sink and threw up. Not that there was much to come up, seeing as he couldn’t remember the last time he’d had anything to eat or drink.

He tried to wash his hands again, but they still seemed stained. Dirty.

It was too quiet, with Cal’s steady breathing the only reminder that the other man was alive. He’d hated having to be the one to cause Cal pain, even when he knew that ultimately he was saving his life. And he was itching to get out of there, but there was no way he was going to leave Cal alone. Not when there was some mad man out there picking them off one by one.

He turned back to Cal and stared, watching the gentle movement of his chest. It had never been Chloe he was interested in. Sure she was beautiful and nice, if not terribly smart; she was exactly the type of girl he cultivated back home. But she wasn’t Cal.

He didn’t even know what it was about him. But from the first moment he’d seen him Cal was all Sully could think about. His very presence was an itch he couldn’t scratch. If he’d been thinking straight he’d have just made fun of him the once and left it at that. There was no way any good was going to come out of it. But opportunity after opportunity had come his way, to talk to Cal, to be close to him even if that meant mocking him. And the guy had guts. Stupid, foolish guts that very nearly ended up all over the parking lot of the Cannery, but guts all the same. Hell, Sully would have left the island, left his friends to their fate, if Cal hadn’t been the voice of reason. Their conscience. It was the look in Cal’s eyes that had made him stay. Not worry about the kid or his best friend. But wanting Cal to stop looking so disappointed in him. Wanting Cal to be proud of him.

He went to sit back down next to Cal and gently stroked his forehead, moving a stray lock of hair out of the way. There was no way this was going to come to anything, but he couldn’t help himself. He looked away and around the clinic room, wondering if there was anything here that they could use to help them. But he felt rooted to the spot, unable to leave Cal alone, even if it was merely to go into another room. He’d never felt so afraid as he did now.

Cal’s soft moan drew Sully’s attention back to him. He stood up and felt Cal’s forehead then pressed his fingers to the pulse point on his neck. The rhythmic beating of Cal’s heart was reassuring. At any other time he might have dismissed his feelings, but there was too much at stake. Certain at least that Cal wasn’t going to be unconscious for much longer, he planted a swift kiss on his cheek.

“Hey,” Cal said. Sully jumped and flushed and turned away.

“You’re awake, great.”

“Yeah…thanks.”

“No worries,” Sully said, standing up. “You think you can stand? We should get moving.”

“It was a brave thing you did,” Cal said, his eyes half-closed.

“Hey, patching you up, nothing to it,” Sully replied. He looked around and grabbed a few more bandages and stuffed them into his pocket, just in case Cal started bleeding again.

“Yes, of course,” Cal whispered to himself, “it was the surgery I was referring to.” He shook his head a little and started to try and sit up.

“Whoa, let me help,” Sully said. He took hold of Cal by his waist and helped him to first sit up and then to stand. “You good?”

“Yes. I’m good,” Cal replied. Sully smiled briefly before moving away, but Cal grabbed hold of his arm and stopped him. “Thanks to you. I...”

“You’ve already said thanks. Twice. I get it, okay. So let’s just get a move on, yeah?” He gently removed Cal’s hand from his arm. “Let’s get the boat and get you back to Chloe.”

Cal sighed. “If that’s the way you want to play it.”

Sully turned to look at Cal, reading the other man’s expression with ease. Cal was such an open book, he could so easily imagine finding himself drowning in its pages.

Instead he shook his head. Cal and Chloe were happy, and he’d rather go on believing that Cal was oblivious than that he was sympathetic but uninterested. Or just plain interested.

“That’s the way I want to play it,” he said eventually. Cal nodded and started to hobble towards the door. Sully watched him struggle for a moment and then went to help.

The sooner they could get off this godforsaken island, the sooner he could start making changes. He had his whole life ahead of him; he wasn’t going to continue to live a lie. He was going to take control of his own destiny.

He was going to start living.


End file.
